Women of RnB set us back decades

We all prattle on about how women are portrayed in the media. However, I would like to make a case that actually the women of RnB are the worst offenders.

Exhibit A: Beyonce


Queen B, Bey, Her Beyness, whatever you want to call this vain, self-obsessed and self-proclaimed independent woman. I'm not taking away from anything she's done. She's an incredible singer, dancer and performer. She used to be a great role model until Jay Z got hold of her, cheated and therefore provoking her into competing with Rihanna. Her achievements are incredible, which is probably why she was on the cover of respectable magazine Time for being the most influential person of 2014. And what else says powerful, influential, in control, kick arse woman than posing in underwear.

Exhibit B: Monica and Brandy



Remember this little gem from 90s? Who doesn't know every single word and does that wobbly head thing while singing 'must you do the things you do, keep on acting like a fool.'

Let's think about this for a moment; two women are arguing over the possession of a man who, by all intent and purposes cheated and lied to both of them - making them both act like fools. This man, who's so amazing two women are fighting over him, is clearly playing them off against each other. Is it for ego, is he hedging his bets or playing games with one of them? Either way, he's a wanker so Monica and Brandy should kick this baller to the kerb.

Exhibit C: Mya



Another pop starlet from the 90s declared that she 'knows how a woman will try to game you' in her biggest hit, Case Of The Ex.

In this track, she talks about not knowing what her boyfriend will do if his ex wants him back. Well Mya, let me help you out with this one. You clearly have a bee in your bonnet about said ex. You feel that this woman is still interested in your man. This isn't the problem though, is it? The problem is that you feel that your man still has feelings for his ex and you don't trust him. Now ask yourself this, if your boyfriend still loves his ex and she loves him right back, why would you stay in this situation. Just stand aside and let them be together. Respect yaw-self girlfriend and don't play second fiddle to anyone, even if he has just bought you a brand new Benz.

Exhibit D: Ashanti


Rolling out all the classics now. Remember angelic voiced Ashanti telling us that she's not always there when we call, but she's always on time. Well, m'lud, why on Earth is she giving Ja Rule her all and begging him to be hers.

Let's break this down. Ja gloats about his valeted Bentley and driving in his Benz. The man's minted, he also calls Ashanti a bitch, talks about rough sex being a game, blames bad behaviour on shit happens and admits to having hoes and loads of illegitimate children. Good for you Ja, but you sound like a cunt. Feminism will have won when men like you are in White Dee's reject bin.

Exhibit E: Pussycat Dolls


Now I love Scherzy. She's a goddess. I won't have a bad word said against her. I admit it, I wish my girlfriend was hot like her... And I'm not even a lesbian.

We've all been in this situation. We like a guy, the guy has a girlfriend, you meet the girlfriend and your first thoughts are 'say what?!' However, this man might be madly in love with said girlfriend. They might be the proverbial soulmates. They've probably been through loads together and in fact, just because you think she's a munter/annoying/retarded/bland, he sees in her what I see in Scherzy.

Women shouldn't really be going round telling simple men who are ruled by their cocks that they're hotter, rawer, freakier and funner than his girlfriend. Even if he does like you and is giving you all the signs; steal him with your own merits not by slagging off the girlfriend.

The verdict

Women will be women. Whenever men are involved, we are all forgiving of them and instead go gunning for the other woman in the situation. The truth is that these men are the arseholes. The reason you feel angry, hurt, humiliated and are acting like a fool is because this man has broken promises, led you on, betrayed you and made you feel like shit.

If we want to wave the feminist flag, we need to stop fighting each other and take a look closer to home. It's generally not the other woman, it's generally the one common denominator - the man.

So we need to take a step back and listen to Kelis.


First published 19/06/2015

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