A leopard doesn't change its spots and nor do you

For those of you who know me (if you're one of those people you don't need to read on, you've probably heard this), know that I've talked about the underlying differences between personality and character. However, despite these differences you are who you are from the moment you're born.


If you go into my mother's loft and riffle through the boxes marked Helen, you'll find notebooks. Tonnes of them. They range from the scrawlings of a 3-year-old right up to when I left university at 22. All filled with stories and prose. If you'd asked me when I was growing up, the profession/hobby that was constant was being a writer.

That desire has only become stronger with age, hence this blog. This isn't the only thing that has stuck with me throughout my life. I've always been politically engaged, I've always loved rock and jazz, I've always indulged in the humanities and been an aspirational intellectual. I've always loved architecture. I've always loved antiques. I've always been left-wing. I've always been fun loving. I've always been a wanderluster. I've always been inappropriate. I've always been insecure and melancholic. And I've always been straight.

There have been other characteristics, other interests and other desires, both permanent and transient, interspersed. I've grown up, opinions and tastes have evolved, but never really changed. People who say they've changed, what they mean is that their behaviour or outlook has changed. There's one thing that can never change and that's you.


Who you essentially are as a person is defined by your character and your personality. When interviewers or dating sites ask for you to describe yourself and your interests, what do you say? This is who you are.

There are instances where you might be disguising this or playing a different part. As Erving Goffman says, we all wear different masks but who you fundamentally are stays the same. Losing sight or denying who you really are leads to unhappiness, unfulfillment and discontentment.

Your character is defined by your values, political stances and philosophical outlook. It's how you inwardly view and analyse yourself - the criteria in which you judge yourself and others, your emotions and introspection, perhaps the things you never discuss with anyone. The person you are in private.

Your personality are your likes, passions, dreams and aspirations. Whether you're loud or quiet, generous or tight, uptight or laid back, hard or emotional, confident or shy - popularly these may be known as characteristics, but these are your personality. How you outwardly appear to the world. The traits that build a perception about you.

You may try to convince yourself that you're someone else, you might have to play a part or might try to contort yourself into someone else's perception of you, but a leopard doesn't it change its spots and nor do you.

First published 24/06/2015

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