Putting men in feMENism

I talk about feminism a lot. Mainly because I occasionally see and feel its effects, but this is my own bubble. Feminism is such a personal thing, as well as joined fight with the sisterhood. However, it the Emperor's new clothes, a lot people jump on this bandwagon - but we need to take a step back and actually think about the negative effects it may have.


In general, I think most people can relate to the type of feminism that is perfectly encapsulated in this comic strip. It also talks about feMENism and the gender issues and stereotypes that follow men around. It's great that people are working towards addressing these issues, however have we fully thought out what the consequences are?

Recently, I read a blog The Quietus tweeted about making gigs safe for solo women. This is just scaremongering nonsense. I was going to respond to the tweet, but thought I would write this blog instead, as the issue is more than 140 characters (less their twitter handle).

If you read the blog, she basically caught a possibly drunk, over exuberant man's attention. He stared at her and tried to grab her. While a man shouldn't feel it's ok to grab a woman completely randomly just because. This is a bit of an over-reaction. Women also get rip-roaringly drunk and grab men, they're sometimes a lot worse trying to rip clothes of them and shouting extremely sexual statements. I should know, I've done it, I've been to hen parties and I've been in the venue when other hen parties have been going on.

It's all part of the fun of going out. Meeting people, chatting to randoms and getting drunk. If we were to vilify men for dancing with women or for expressing their amorous intentions in a socially inadequate way, as getting pissed is often what gives people the confidence to crack onto someone they find sexually desirable while taking away all self-awareness, then men wouldn't get laid and women would, in turn, feel unattractive.

Suitable couplings or those wonderful nights of passion wouldn't happen. And not even those anecdotal stories or just having fun with people. This is sad.

A couple of days after said OTT tale of woe, a woman on the SlutWalk in Vancouver held up a sign stating that there was no rape culture in the West. She was naturally chastised for this and abused by other protesters on the SlutWalk.

However, her counter-protest was correct. We are increasingly creating a culture of fear among women who will view all men as potential aggressors. A man isn't allow to show his appreciation of a woman's aesthetics, he isn't allowed to assume that women like shoes (when they do) and he's not allowed to talk openly about sex.

She's right, there is no rape culture in the West. It happens, it has been happening for eons and will continue to happen until the whole of humanity dies out. It's an unfortunate by-product of the need to exude power over another human being. But it's not like if you go on a date with a man or chat to him for a few minutes in a pub that it becomes his god-given right to take what he wants without question. He mightn't, dare I say it, want to have sex with you at all. They're not rabid uncontrollable beasts who can't even control themselves at the mere whiff of a X chromosome regardless of libido, personality or morality.

Men are becoming public enemy number 1 in the West, when they're not really doing anything fundamentally wrong. Yes, they do what is perceived as sexually harassing a women, they may be inappropriate and they may just be being 'lads', but the social acceptance of this is down to individual ideologies and environmental factors. Rape is illegal in anyone's language. However, there are cultures where it's acceptable and it's used as a weapon of war, therefore demonstrating that the act is an immoral one.

The blog girl was turning an innocent situation into a nonsensical protest. And the SlutWalk was embodying an issue that isn't prevalent in our world. While all these have admirable objectives, it is sensationalising issues that could have detrimental cultural effects on the interaction between men and women.

Basically, we're all human regardless of our genitalia - we have our similarities and our differences. Some are down to nature and some down to nurture. And we need each other so why can't we work together to bring true gender equality into society.

First published 12/06/2015

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