The cruelty of domestic animals

Sorry this has been the first blog post in a while (not that you noticed). We've been busy... working, sleeping, writing music reviews, planning hen dos and going to weddings, but definitely not dieting or exercising. However, the gripes, philosophies and analysis of everyday life hasn't gone unnoticed.

Ban domestic animals

That's right. You heard what I said. I'm a Brit, living in England - a nation of animal lovers and I'm advocating a ban on all domestic animals *gulps*. Hear me out...

Whether you believe in the genesis or an avid follower of Dawkins, animals weren't put on this planet to be stripped of their base instincts, castrated and pampered. I'm sure when Chihuahua’s evolved, their main aim wasn't to be groomed, adorned in ribbons and carried round in a Mulberry bag. I don't think any animal who was blessed with the gift of flight thought they'd end up in a cage, next to a window being cooed at by some old dear. And fish who have ability to swim to the most beautiful coral reefs and see parts of the world that human eyes haven't seen are damned to staring at a plastic diver.

Domesticating animals is cruel. In a time when we fight for the guilty to be released from prison, we don't extend the same humanity to animals. We're happy for them to gnaw at our furniture, bark until the early hours, shit in our gardens and pay a fortune for the privilege.

I'm not including working animals in this. For the deaf and blind, dogs are essential in their ability to lead an independent life. And unlike Giles Coren, I think animals are the perfect companion for the old who will alert neighbours should anything happen and have a short life expectancy, so shouldn't be left behind for too long. I'm talking about animals that are there for the sake of having a pet. How does an average UK family benefit from one? I watched Marley & Me and thought, this dog has no purpose and adds no value - he's more of a burden than anything. They'd be better off taking him out back and shooting him.

Just like Giles Coren, I believe all dogs should be banned. They're dangerous by nature. They are descendants of wolves and dingos, yet we happily let them roam around the house, playing with children. People scoff at Tyson for having a tiger (or was that just for the film) and those nutters (generally American) who keep gorillas and crocs in their back gardens, yet we think nothing of having Huskies, German Sheppards and Bloodhounds in our homes.

These animals are hunters, carnivores hard-wired to kill. Beagles are used hunt foxes for Christ's sake. Cute little Beagles. Snoopy. They savage wily foxes on command. And yet we're all shocked when vulnerable six-day old Eliza-Mae was mauled to death by the family pet. That's equivalent of putting a giant rat in a python's tank.

There was some shocking video footage of a cat stopping a child being mauled by a dog. Although this was celebrated as amazing (which it was), it only highlighted to me that there should be a banned on domestic animals. Not just dangerous dogs, ALL domestic animals.

Being Greek, animals will always belong in the food chain, but I'm not an animal hater. According to Darwin, it's survival of the fittest. As the superior species, I don't see a problem with farming animals for food. After all, there are 6 billion of us to feed. It makes me feel sick thinking about all the food we waste. All that food in petrol stations, pubs, cafes, off-licenses, corner shops, supermarket, restaurants, aeroplanes, trains, etc. There is a big food bowl that isn't equally distributed. But such is life and it would take a bigger and cleverer person than me to fix it. But instead zoos and scientists spend thousands trying to save a species that nature is trying to kill off. We're getting in the way of evolution by insisting on getting lazy pandas to breed. They don't want to, so let them die off. We should be concentrating on saving species that humans are killing off through destroying habitats, climate change and poaching. Perhaps if we weren't spending our money on Pedigree Chum and vets bills, we could collectively make a difference to our planet for future generations.

Published on 16/05/2014