For feminism to win, women need to think like winners

When was the last time you read an article, tweet or soundbite from a man bemoaning that his failures are down to discrimination? It’s time women didn’t just celebrate their successes but actively promoted them.

It’s 2017 and to quote a female protester at the Women’s March, I don’t believe we still have to protest this shit. The struggle is still very real; women are being told (by men) what to wear, what to do with their bodies, what to do and how much to get paid for it. Sometimes it feels like feminism will never win.

But perhaps we’re going about it the wrong way. In order to effect change, women should not only be part of the conversation, but emulate male behaviour and language when it comes to gender equality.

All motivational, self-help mantras feature the words akin to ‘to be a winner, act like a winner’. That means being the best self-promoter of your brand (urgh, I hate that expression). Men are the masters at this. They put up some shelves, they chew the ear off everyone about how amazing these shelves are. They produce a report, they’ll go straight to the big giant head to tell them how hard they worked, all the challenges they overcame and how well-received it was. They cook beans on toast and they’ll tag it as #foodporn on social media.

I mean, have you seen Donald Trump’s Twitter feed? He punctuates every gaffe and misdemeanor with bombastic statements about how he's the greatest president in the history of mankind.

Women don’t do this. We’re underpaid because we’re riddled with self-doubt and insecurity about whether we think we’ll be worth the money or we’re so grateful for the opportunity, we don’t ask for a higher rate or a raise. We avoid putting ourselves out-there to achieve career goals because who would take us seriously, we don’t have the talent or what about the panoply of other considerations.

But look at the women who self-promoted, built their brand and put themselves out-there for failure. 

They’ve conquered the music and literary world, yet no one is talking about it. Until now.

The biggest artists in the world right now are women. Step forward Beyonce, Rihanna, Lady Gaga and Adele. Not only are these women doing it their way, but nearly every slot on music TV and the charts is continually occupied by them. Generations of children will have Rihanna as the number one song on the day they were born. They’re making money, they dominate the headlines and changing the landscape of mainstream music.

It’s not just the top 40 women are dominating, but also producing some exciting, innovative and, dare I say it, cool music. Presenting artists like Bjork, PJ Harvey, FKA Twigs, Bat For Lashes, Solange, Florence Welch, Yasmin Hamdan, Brodka, Kelela, Karen O, Kate Tempest, Nadine Shah, Anna Calvi, The XX, London Grammar and Daughter. And that’s just off the top of my head. All producing cerebral, creative and interesting music.

Despite all these successes, we just focus on the lack of female representation at festivals and sexualisation of female starlets. All of which are valid, but if we’re promoting how amazing and valuable women in are, these things will be naturally resolved.

And women are dominating literature, like JK Rowling, Hilary Mantel, Paula Hawkins and Donna Tartt, to name but a few. Also, women are reclaiming the professional kitchen with Rachel Khoo, Nadiya Hussain and Lorraine Pascale producing cool, quirky, easy and impressive dishes presented in a supercool format. Again, no one is celebrating this. Just focusing on what isn’t happening or battles we’re losing.

What feminism needs is its own Sean Spicer, who will wax lyrical about how women are winning at life, even when evidence is overwhelmingly to the contrary or under continual fire by people telling you you’re wrong.